One day, she just decided to walk away. She decided to rebuild herself and her world the way God intended everything to be from the beginning, how Life SHOULD be.. And THAT was THAT. THAT is how HAPPILY EVER AFTER came to be.
Rev. Lail Ann Haynes©
Yesterday, my beautiful, oldest daughter came home from work needing to talk. She told me two women at her work have Fibromyalgia. As I write this, I see the deep worry in Abbie’s large, almond shaped eyes. She was close to tears as she looked at me, a fragile shell of the woman I was only a year and a half ago.. She simply said, “Mommy, they are not even close to as sick and weak as you are..”. I could easily tell my strong, courageous daughter was more than a little scared.
I knew her fear well. I have met so many with Fibromyalgia since autoimmune dis ease reared it’s ugly head the fall of 2011. One after the other, God placed these warriors in my life, my fibro family. I pray for all of them to be healed every single day. It will happen.
There are over 80 autoimmune dis eases, and so far I have three. No, I have not met one person with a case as severe as mine. I reminded Abbie that the 31 years of abuse and prolonged, severe stress are not easy for a body to withstand.. I wish I had stopped it all sooner… My body just took all it could bear for awhile. God decided it is time I rest..
I do not like it that my children have to watch me suffer and fight every single day just to have somewhat of a “normal” life. However, I do know God makes messages out of messes. I will show these children that there is nothing that they cannot handle. God is so much bigger than any obstacle that comes our way.
I don’t like this dis ease at all, but I accept whatever is in God’s will. People say there is no cure. Oh, YES THERE IS!! Look up.
It is never truly dark. Open your eyes and you will see The Light sitting next to you, waiting patiently for you to open your eyes and see everything more clearly.
♥ Rev. Lei aka Lail Ann Haynes ♥
11:11 STREET MINISTRY BLOG
My 2012 Theme Song is for a few more days, still I WAS HERE, by Beyonce..
Click the link below to listen, please.
Yes, I believe I left my footprints on the sands of time..
2012 has been very challenging,
I refuse to lie..
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why,
I have to leave tear drops,
During my earthly time..
It came close a few times this year,
To suicide seeming the only hope for mercy near.
Some much needed pain free relief was overdue for me..
Earth Angels surrounded me,
Drying my tears,
Saying I CAN,
When Everything in me screamed,
“I just can’t!!!! I CANNOT!!!”..
I caved in to my blog to share a “Pity Party”,
Not something typical for this country girl,
That is me.
I almost did not share that post,
It made me so vulnerable,
Humble and weak.
Here was the reply from a very special reader I received:
“I came across your blog, (Giggles, Satin & Tear Drops) post “My Pity Party” today while I was having an awful one of my own. I had just typed and entered “fibromyalgia AND suicide” into yahoo search, and there it was. fifth on the list of 6,950,000 results, excluding paid sponsors of course. After reading a few more of your entriess, including “I COMMITTED SUICIDE”, I decided to pour 56 of the 57 xanax sitting on the desk in front of me back into the bottle. I just wanted to let you know that you really made a difference in my life today. I’ve always said, the best thing about Oklahoma (north central, for me) is the beautiful sunsets. Thanks to you, I’ll be watching another one tonight.”
(keeping reader anonymous)
I felt so vulnerable, humble and weak, yet God was powerful and present within me to save that angel’s life.
God bless 2012. I was told in Chinese Astrology this was “The Year of the Dragon“. Looking through that dark tunnel that has been my health issues and learning a new way of life at only 36 years of age, I take back my first impression that this was not my year at all.
Through me, God saved at least ONE LIFE. It doesn’t get better than that at all.
I don’t think it’s amusing at all. Before I frantically dumped all my millions in inheritance, making the choice to start over from scratch, taking my family into a life of poverty, to escape a family secret that would soon take my life if I didn’t cut all ties and leave, I received phone calls DAILY from “friends” needing help desperately with one thing or another – an electric bill, clothes for their children, food for their children, a car, on and on and on. http://www.lailannhaynes.wordpress.com
I still get an occasional call from someone who has no idea how my life has changed, asking if I will help them out like I always did before. Now, what is humorous is that once I tell them I am no longer an “heiress” to an oil and natural gas fortune, plus thousands of acres of ranch, I NEVER HEAR FROM THEM AGAIN. That’s humorous.
I will admit it hurts very badly though, all the “friends” who have become NON EXISTENT unless they need emotional support from me, or still hold onto some kind of hope I have money to get them through whatever trial is presently at hand for them. Very few have listened to God‘s whispers and actually asked, “Lail, you have done so much for me for decades. What can I do for you now that you are in need.”.
That’s not amusing or humorous. It’s sad and hurtful. True colors are always revealed. There are just some like me who will never say a word to you that you have a tell all bugger on your nose as to the TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE IN YOUR HEART. People are smarter than we give them credit for. Users and Abusers don’t even realize they have a great big spotlight shining their true identity for us all to see.
Just a little rant. I’m pretty good at that sometimes. Do something kind today for someone in need, please. Love in God.
Lail Ann Haynes
Love offerings, $0 right now, but 11:11 STREET MINISTRY has complete faith in God.
Are you in need? Share with me in the comments, please. I am a Prayer Warrior, and I believe in the power of numbers, oneness and unity. Gentle hugs to all who need one. I battle Autoimmune Dis eases daily, so I know how healing a hug can be. I care. I hope you will write me.
Angels In Disguise
by Lail Ann Haynes
Have you ever seen an angel,
Real and true to life???
Would you recognize the halo,
If the angel was far from perfect,
And going through times of trial, struggle, and strife?
What if she posed as an alcoholic,
And fought drug addiction too,
Stuck in a dangerous domestic situation,
But she came and exposed it just to you?
Would you be self-centered and judgmental,
Or would you see the signs and believe it was true,
Spend time trying to find the answers,
And pray to God for guidance in what to do?
Do you ever stop and wonder,
Just how many angels come into your life?
The homeless guy holding up the sign,
The man in the hospital,
Sitting next his sickly wife.
What if 100 angels came,
And visited you personally every single year?
Would you walk on by egotistically,
Or stop to comfort and dry their tear?
What if the angel came to you in animal form,
A puppy needing a safe, loving home?
Would you open up your doors with love,
Or turn your head in disregard,
And let it battle life in fear,
Wondering our land all alone?
What if God designated you as an angel,
Blessing you with way more than you need?
Would you earn your wings by helping out,
Or sell your soul and live in greed?
What if an angel was put here on earth,
Simply to make you think?
Open up your heart to all possibilities,
Before your chance passes you by,
And your soul to fire begins to sink…
Not all our stories will have a happy ending,
This I’m sure you knew.
Ask yourself a simple question,
Will you open your eyes to see that halo,
Or walk through your life blindly,
Choosing to live without a clue?