ESP?

Are you seeking an ANSWER??
#ESP??..  hmmm…

LOVE DOES NOT HURT.
PEOPLE DO.

“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”

❤ #DrWayneDyer ❤

No matter WHAT you DECIDE to do..  DO IT LOVINGLY, FOR THE BETTERMENT OF ALL, NOT JUST YOU.  If it is not of LOVE, it IS NOT GOD'S WORK.  Bow DOWN before the ONE YOU SERVE.  Actions speak LOUDER than WORDS.  "#iLOVEyou", WITHOUT #ACTSofLOVE are MEANINGLESS.   I came from a HISTORY full of that INSANITY.  "I LOVE YOU" DOES NOT = #HARM, BRAINWASHING, FEAR,  #MANIPULATION, BULLYING,  #ENTRAPMENT &/OR #ABUSE.

Sometimes #EMPATHIC GIFTS do not FEEL like "GIFTS".  I KNOW "THINGS", SEE "THINGS, FEEL "THINGS", UNIMAGINABLE TO MOST.  I HAVE A SPECIAL, HEALING ENERGY & "TOUCH".  I never told anyone until I became "bed-ridden", winter of 2011..   Blessings in disguise..  I WAS SCARED OF THE GIFTS GOD GAVE ME.  ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!!!  NOPE.  GOD IS ALMIGHTY.  GOD KNOWS BEST.

I am an open book.  Why?  I am sick of the other kind of living.  SECRETS ALMOST KILLED ME.  I wore a mask for too many years.  I felt like "Grandpa's Puppet & Barbie Doll".  I WAS, STILL, "NEVER GOOD ENOUGH" & "NEVER GOING TO AMOUNT TO ANYTHING".

As an adult..  much more has followed…  I got very crushed by some very sick, vividly detailed messages sent to me by a woman I don't even know, other than NAME..  after the last ATTEMPTED rape in 2010 by my older, adopted brother, Jason.  I COULD NOT BELIEVE THE LIES THE OLDER SIBLINGS OF MINE WERE SPREADING!!!!   "SHE IS HIS OBSESSED, SECRET LOVER"??  FOR REAL??!!!!

I began to question everyone I ever trusted..   So many were secretly wishing harm on me, I had trusted with my broken soul.  IT STILL DOES HURT TO FIND OUT PEOPLE ONE LOVES, ARE ONLY ACTING…  I KNOW MORE THAN I WISH I DID.  Word travels quickly from small towns of 300 or so people..

I had to begin LIFE all OVER.  I HAD TO PURGE ALL THE JUNK.  I HAD TO WORK EXTREMELY HARD TO BUILD A NEW LIFE.  I HAD TO WAIT FOR GOD TO GIVE ME WHAT I NEEDED TO RE-CONNECT WITH "PEOPLE FROM MY PAST".  IT WAS VERY SCARY TO ME.  #PTSD, SEVERE, IS MY DIAGNOSIS.  Hmmm..  wonder WHY?.. 
#SARCASM. 😉

I DECIDED TO CONQUER FEAR & EMBRACE LOVE, IN EACH AREA OF LIFE.  FIRST, I HAD TO LEARN WHAT TRUE, HEALTHY LOVE WAS & IS.  THIS GOAL ALSO REQUIRED IDENTIFYING, DEEP IN MY SOUL, WHAT I WAS TRULY AFRAID OF.  NOT EASY, NO DOUBT. 😉

I was afraid of ME.  IT WAS EASY TO HIDE.  I HATED ME AND ALL THE MESSES I FELT RESPONSIBLE FOR.  I HATED LIFE.  GOD SAVED ME.  I #TESTIFY.

#herSECRETtruth.

I was scared of attention.  The ATTENTION received after I #CONFESSED, publicly, filing my first POLICE REPORT, after 31 years of ALL KINDS OF #ABUSE WAS HORRIFYING.  I STILL AM SCARED OF ATTENTION..  FACING THOSE FEARS, DAILY!!!  SOMEDAY, I WILL FEEL CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO PUBLISH BOOKS.  IN DIVINE TIME.  GOD HEALS.

MY DETAILED REPORT WAS, CASUALLY, DISMISSED BY GARY, NOW FORMER SMALL TOWN D.A., according a phone convo with that crooked sherriff..  JASON MAY NEVER SERVE TIME FOR ANY HE TRIED TO DESTROY..  FIGURES. :')

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."
#WayneDyer #Quotes

MY STORY, ALMOST COST ME MY OLDEST DAUGHTER'S LIFE, A LITTLE OVER A YEAR LATER, SEPTEMBER OF 2011.  #GODchangedMYlife.  He left my child as a sign of his powerful, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.  I MET GOD, AT LAST.

NOW, I only do what God calls me to do, WHEN HE SAYS TO #JUSTdoIT.  I TRULY PRAY OVER 100 TIMES, DAILY.  OBEYING GOD is not always EASY, EITHER.  HUMAN ASPECTS CANNOT BE DENIED..  ONLY "HANDLED".  I MUST BE MORE SOCIAL, PUBLICLY.  I LIKE BEING A "TURTLE".  PEOPLE HURT.  THAT WAS MY MAIN FEAR.  PEOPLE.  IT STILL, ON OCCASION, IS…  I LIKE BEING "THE DOG LADY".  DOGS BITE WAY LESS THAN (WO)MAN!!!  HUMANS ACT LIKE "ANIMALS", NOT THE ANIMALS HUMANS KILL..  #IRONY..  FIGURES, TOO, DOES IT NOT??

MANY "things" happen in LIFE, beyond our CONTROL, that may cause PERMANENT "#CHANGES".  ALLOW LIFE TO make you BETTER, NOT BITTER.  TURN THOSE WOUNDS INTO WISDOM.  MINISTER TO THY NEIGHBORS, WHO ARE ON SIMILIAR JOURNEYS TO YOUR OWN.   BOOTCAMP IS OVER!!  YOU ARE AT #EXPERT STATUS, NOW!!!  IT WAS ALL A #BLESSINGinDISGUISE…

TURN #MESSEStoMESSAGES, EARTH ANGELS!!!  WITH GOD, ALL "THINGS" ARE POSSIBLE.  YOU GOTTA PUT EFFORT IN, THOUGH.  The choice is a gift, a blessing.  We should CHERISH THOSE.. 😉

#thoughtsofmymeanderingmind..
#LIFEisBEAUTIFUL..
MCmemories1111
#TALOGA, #OKLAHOMA #HISTORY
OVER. 
#thankful..
#PEhaynesFAMILY
#HASHtagDIARY1111
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/andelyons/2013/09/03/allowing-love-after-abuse-reverend-lail-ann-haynes
The End.

Rev. Mary Catherine Lail-Ann Haynes©
http://www.LailAnnHaynes.com
http://www.DenverHolisticCenter.com
http://www.gofundme.com/weLOVEpets4peopleOrg

#LOVEthyNEIGHBOR..

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

❤ Dr. Wayne Dyer #Wisdom ❤

GOD IS LOVE.  CHOOSE TO be LOVE, TOO.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s