I HATE SECRETS!!

Dear God:

If you are not going to heal me, please give me the knowledge, wisdom and ability to do it myself.  I am sick of crying in secret.  Thank you.  I do love you regardless..  Amen.

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Abbie’s concern.

Yesterday, my beautiful, oldest daughter came home from work needing to talk.  She told me two women at her work have Fibromyalgia.  As I write this, I see the deep worry in Abbie’s large, almond shaped eyes.  She was close to tears as she looked at me, a fragile shell of the woman I was only a year and a half ago..  She simply said, “Mommy, they are not even close to as sick and weak as you are..”.  I could easily tell my strong, courageous daughter was more than a little scared.

I knew her fear well.  I have met so many with Fibromyalgia since autoimmune dis ease reared it’s ugly head the fall of 2011.  One after the other, God placed these warriors in my life, my fibro family. I pray for all of them to be healed every single day. It will happen.

There are over 80 autoimmune dis eases, and so far I have three.  No, I have not met one person with a case as severe as mine.  I reminded Abbie that the 31 years of abuse and prolonged, severe stress are not easy for a body to withstand..  I wish I had stopped it all sooner…  My body just took all it could bear for awhile.  God decided it is time I rest..

I do not like it that my children have to watch me suffer and fight every single day just to have somewhat of a “normal” life.  However, I do know God makes messages out of messes.  I will show these children that there is nothing that they cannot handle.  God is so much bigger than any obstacle that comes our way.

I don’t like this dis ease at all, but I accept whatever is in God’s will.  People say there is no cure.  Oh, YES THERE IS!!  Look up.

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