The Diary In My Mind


The Diary In My Mind

by Lail Ann Haynes

Moments written that may never fade.

Smiles and tears so often replayed.

Loving an addict is not easy to do,

Every single day is scary and somewhat blue.

Big, bright, brown, boyish eyes,

Hopeful and innocent,

So trusting and naive at the young age of five…

As a boy he dreamed of hunting, 

As well as fishing under the stars.

He wanted a wife and a family,

Never dreaming he would end up living behind bars…

Lost from the moment they tore him from his mother’s embrace,

He stumbled through life with a criminal trace.

The underworld trapped his soul for a time,

As he sold meth-amphetamines and weed for a dime.

He chose the wrong door, 

Chasing his boyhood “Chopper” dream.

Man’s Entrance To Hell was that dealer’s theme…

Spoons and needles, 

The boyish man’s vivid reality.

He’d appear on his sister’s doorstep,


Out of his mind, 

An ate up skeleton, 

Seeking a hopeful “happiness” key.

The key would never fit, 

In the world the addict knew,

Happiness isn’t a reality, 

No matter how much dope they do….

My brother sits behind bars, 

In another world, 

Far, far away from me,

I cry from time to time, 

As I miss the brown eyed boy he used to be…

Every single time, 

I let go of him,

I prepare for him to pass away, 

And the little light left in my heart, 

To very soon completely dim…

Believe it or not, 

Bobby WILL be given his angel wings.

God knows his struggles here on earth, 

Among the other deadly, secret things…

My brother will ride to Heaven,

On that yellow, dream Chopper of his.

Washed clean of his sin, 

Both wings and halo on,

I will say “goodbye” here on earth,

Knowing deep in my heart,

Finally right has been made from all the world of wrong.

Few will understand, 

Just how a “dope head” made it to the pearly gates.

However, I know, 

Jesus loves each of us equal, 

And unconditionally.

(Dedicated to my younger brother, Bobby Lee Ruppel, Jr.)

Listen to Life Is Beautiful by Sixx A.M.


2 responses to “The Diary In My Mind

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