Meet GIGGLES! and #LLAFF! ;)

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Copy and paste this link to go directly to Amazon and buy Gabe’s book.  You will not be sorry!

http://www.amazon.com/Live-Like-Fruit-Fly-Already/dp/0615334059

My friend, Gabe Berman, has written a book that is taking this world by storm!  After you read my blog, I highly suggest you head over to Amazon.com and get your copy of LIVE LIKE A FRUIT FLY: THE SECRETS YOU ALREADY KNOW before it’s too late.  You snooze, you lose!!  Heehee!!!  😀  I truly think I have been living like a fruit fly most of my life…  Have you too???

When I was 17, a good friend of mine told me I should get “WILD THING” tattooed across my ass.  Sheila has no idea how many times I have actually considered getting it done.  I eventually will just so she will be a part of me forever.  She’ll be on my ASS, heehee!!!  I’m weird like that.  😉

When I think about all the crazy things I have done, a HUGE smile spreads across my face!  I definitely know how to make memories that should never fade, heehee!!!  The first one that comes to mind happened on the seventh hole at Lake Hefner Golf Course right here in Oklahoma City.  I can truly say I witnessed first hand a hole in one!  😉  Oh gosh…. I should have written a disclaimer that if you are shy about sex, my blog is definitely not for you!  I am open and free, heehee!!!  Oh yeah, that is totally ME!!!  🙂

Have you seen that WINGS episode where during Helen’s bachelorette party the girls are sitting around talking about the craziest places they have had sex?  Casey’s most impressive story was “at the foot of the bed”.  Well, one of mine was too.  However, the bed was in a furniture store showroom during business hours in Pennsylvania, heehee!!!  No, definitely not shy…  😉

They say that sexual abuse victims either become totally fearful and turned off by sex or like me, no boundaries.  Even those of us with no boundaries struggle, I promise.  We feel like freaks, especially when in a group where other woman are on the topic.  Women for some odd reason love to criticize each other, typically behind the victim of gossips back.  So many times I decided to draw the attention off the unknowing target by throwing MYSELF under the bus admitting my sexual craziness: “the mile high club”, sex while driving down the interstate, threesomes, 4, 5, ….  , you name it, I’ve probably tried it.  What is fun and fine with me blows other women’s minds.  I shock them with stories, protecting some unknowing victim from being all alone.  I don’t mind standing alone.  Do you believe me???   -_- …

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in the corner and cry for hours.”  ~Eric Idle

I would rather the group of cruel gossipers hate on me because I cannot stand someone else experiencing pain…  It actually physically hurts me, no joke.  I have noticed through becoming friends with other sexual abuse survivors there are many who do that very same thing.  We have the most loving, compassionate, tender hearts.  We may be “freaks” to you, but we are heroins to each other.  Everything about us ends up being criticized by other woman, eventually.  We are labeled mushy, weak, TOO loving, stupid, strange, crazy, odd and on and on….  No matter how hard we try to force ourselves to believe words don’t hurt, the do.

Not giggling right now….. Are YOU judging me???  Would it help if I comforted you and told you I don’t blame you?  Would it help if I told you it’s okay, “Judge away, it doesn’t hurt…”?  Do you believe me???  Do you think I don’t judge myself every single day???  Do you believe me when I tell you with a smile on my face, “I’m okay.”???   I can’t lie to you, the effects of sexual abuse NEVER truly go away…

(TEAR DROPS appears.)

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5 responses to “Meet GIGGLES! and #LLAFF! ;)

  1. You are in so much denial. You talk about being sexually abused by ur brother and husband and then brag about being a freak. I doubt your brother “raped ” u 2 yrs ago. I am sure you consented at age 33. What is so scary is u really believe you are a victim and not the participant u truly are. I feel sad for u cuz you are sick.

    • Thank you for your comment, jane d. It made the whole reason behind this blog more powerful. Your view is so typical and the lack of knowledge of this subject is very clear, so I added a new post to help you. Just to let you know, that last instance was “attempted rape”. I was saved by my younger brother and the situation was almost deadly. My younger brother almost killed my older adopted brother that night. I finally had the courage to go to the police. More details will be shared in future posts. I appreciate your input. Much love. xo

    • Thank you again for this comment. You should learn the dangers of passing judgement on others without having any idea of their life. I have the most amazing children and united family unit. I am very blessed with great communication. After your post, I did ask my oldest child if she reads my blog. The answer was “no, I don’t need to.”. You see, they have lived all the years through my experience and have seen my example of strength to overcome. In the later years, there were not many instances. Every time I got hurt, my family as in my husband and children gave me strength. God filled all of us with strength. We never are faced with more than we can bear. Our rough journey fills us with wisdom to fulfill our calling. I presently help many others to do the same as a free service, mentoring, encouraging and coaching. People who hurt others are angry. “Anger is simply a result of DEEP ROOTED PAIN.” -Lail Ann Haynes Their pain may not even have anything to do with you, they just think you are an easy target. Recognize their pain, pray for their healing and continue to grow and prosper in your own life. The only opinions that should ever hurt us are those of people we value the knowledge of. Toss the other crap out the door. You deserve better and hopefully they will grow and become more intelligent. “Please remember, judgement and comparison are so very hurtful, damaging and dangerous. We get the fun part serving God: LOVING. He is the ONLY judge, jury and executioner as we humans call it. You can love absolutely every single person. I even love those who have hurt me terribly. I don not like them or want them around me. You do not have to like everyone or involve them in your life, but we should pray for everyone to be healed of all illnesses, and to be safe, happy and healthy through life. Bless you. xo

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